Dny cakap aku sexy,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dia rabun kott -.-'
December 11, 2009
Babysitter
On December 21st - 24th, I'll babysit for my cousins.
4 years and 3 years I think.
A girl and a boy.
Dueetttt lagi weyyy, HAHAHAHA
4 years and 3 years I think.
A girl and a boy.
Dueetttt lagi weyyy, HAHAHAHA
3KRK1
I text Madam Yap yesterday and she said that,
Me & Anis
are in 3KRK1 next year!
After I read the msg, I was like shouting and screaming!
YAYAYAY!
Akhirnya, susah payah aku selama ini terbalas.
Dan juga selama 7 hari aku bermuram durja bermasam muka,
hari ini, the debt has been paid.
After I read the msg, I was like shouting and screaming!
YAYAYAY!
Akhirnya, susah payah aku selama ini terbalas.
Dan juga selama 7 hari aku bermuram durja bermasam muka,
hari ini, the debt has been paid.
Mati Hidup Balik
I've been awaken from death!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
11th of December 2009
Someone woke me up from being a living corpse.
I feel relieved.
But then,
there is one more thing I need to do.
And I am gonna work hard :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
11th of December 2009
Someone woke me up from being a living corpse.
I feel relieved.
But then,
there is one more thing I need to do.
And I am gonna work hard :)
December 09, 2009
Zain Cakap
Zain bagi aku 9/10 overall,
And tut tut, 0/10
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD
Thanks Zain :D
Mayat
My mom called me mayat because my feet is so pucat.
You know like color orang dah meninggal, kuning kuning camtu.
And yesterday from pagi sampai petang, I just lay down dekat sofa,
I couldn't move my body at all.
It's like aku paralyze teruk.
And I have three cushion pillow with me,
one dekat kepala, another dekat kaki and another one I hugged.
I felt comfy but at the same time,
vulnerable.
Sometimes I cry.
Patutnye I go for a swim with my friends but serious I didn't have the strength.
I didn't eat.
I didn't talk.
I didn't do anything.
I just watched Boys Over Flowers and Criminal Minds Season 4.
And last night my mom went ballistic apehal I behave like this.
She asked is it about Dny and I said HELL FREAKING NO AND DON'T MENTION HIS NAME.
Dia takde kaitan pun!
So she errand me to sit down and tell her what is going on with me.
I didn't say the truth.
I told her about other things, and I didn't lie.
It's true about the thing, but the thing didn't make me like this.
I just couldn't tell her.
And she asked me if nak pergi jumpa psychiatrist,
I said yes.
She replied, "jangan nak mengada ngada. Kecik kecik lagi nak jumpa psychiatrist."
Seriously, I need psychiatrist.
After I taken my bath last night,
I ran downstairs,
I took a knife and all I can think about was, "Let me do this just once."
But I don't have the gut.
I'm not okay for god sake.
LS
I feel awful.
Damn awful.
I hate myself.
Nak tahu aku rasa ape?
# Frust
# Sakit hati
# Vulnerable
# Takde semangat
# Hati aku macam jatuh, I feel it and it's like so heavy that I feel like collapsing
December 07, 2009
Geli Geleman
Gila geli weyh aku tengok.
Eiiii, meremang bulu roma.
Kau ingat dia nak sangat ke cakap macam tu?
Eiiii, you're so perasan.
Eiiii, meremang bulu roma.
Kau ingat dia nak sangat ke cakap macam tu?
Eiiii, you're so perasan.
I Got It
Tadi balik lambat, my dad dah reached home dulu.
Dia panggil when I was in my room, and he said why tak inform nak keluar?
Eh I did.
I said to my mom nak pergi bakery.
Dia tak tny dgn whom.
But I'm pretty sure she knows lah, dah selalu kott aku keluar with teman sebakery. HAHA
Then he said, "ayah tak kesah if nak keluar, but inform dulu. You got it?"
"Hmmm." Then I went upstairs.
Means dia bagi aku keluar lah en en?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA syok kotttt :p
Dia panggil when I was in my room, and he said why tak inform nak keluar?
Eh I did.
I said to my mom nak pergi bakery.
Dia tak tny dgn whom.
But I'm pretty sure she knows lah, dah selalu kott aku keluar with teman sebakery. HAHA
Then he said, "ayah tak kesah if nak keluar, but inform dulu. You got it?"
"Hmmm." Then I went upstairs.
Means dia bagi aku keluar lah en en?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA syok kotttt :p
Pucat
Tadi my mom asked me, asal my face look pucat.
And badan dah kurus.
She wants me to eat rice, but I say, "dah makan lah tadi."
Baru dia puas.
And on Saturday night, she scolded me, why I didn't eat, terperuk dalam bilik, dengar iPod.
My dad also joined her, but my dad bukan kaki nagging.
But my mom gila punya tension with me.
Like aku ni tak buat satu kerja pun.
:((
She knows I'm crying. My dad knows. Hmmm.
And badan dah kurus.
She wants me to eat rice, but I say, "dah makan lah tadi."
Baru dia puas.
And on Saturday night, she scolded me, why I didn't eat, terperuk dalam bilik, dengar iPod.
My dad also joined her, but my dad bukan kaki nagging.
But my mom gila punya tension with me.
Like aku ni tak buat satu kerja pun.
:((
She knows I'm crying. My dad knows. Hmmm.
38
Friday was the last time aku makan nasik.
Pukul 10 p.m.
And 38 hours after that, aku makan Chicken McDeluxe & Yee Mee Kung Fu.
On Saturday aku telan one burger. Half petang half malam.
Ahad pagi, tengok cermin kat phone, mata bengkak.
masuk toilet and I saw my lower lips berdarah, I rubbed it with my finger and betul betul ada darah.
Teruk aite?
First time.
Niat nak berdiet sampai macam ni.
Actually not diet, but more to remorse, pain, agony feelings.
HAHA
Pukul 10 p.m.
And 38 hours after that, aku makan Chicken McDeluxe & Yee Mee Kung Fu.
On Saturday aku telan one burger. Half petang half malam.
Ahad pagi, tengok cermin kat phone, mata bengkak.
masuk toilet and I saw my lower lips berdarah, I rubbed it with my finger and betul betul ada darah.
Teruk aite?
First time.
Niat nak berdiet sampai macam ni.
Actually not diet, but more to remorse, pain, agony feelings.
HAHA
Menyesal
Dulu bile everything was so perfect, aku tak pernah bersyukur.
Lalai. Solat pun bila rasa nak buat, aku buat.
Tak ingat Tuhan. Jahat kan? :(
But bila Allah dah tarik sekaligus, baru aku rasa menyesal.
Aku penuhkan solat, and everytime solat aku doa for everyone, and menangis.
And tadi, believe it or not, after solat maghrib, I was like lemah gila and terbaring kat sejadah.
Bayangkan betapa teruk aku rasa?
Tak pernah aku rasa selemah and blank and tak tahu apa nak buat mcm ni.
Najie cakap aku dah mereng. Betul cakap dia.
Lalai. Solat pun bila rasa nak buat, aku buat.
Tak ingat Tuhan. Jahat kan? :(
But bila Allah dah tarik sekaligus, baru aku rasa menyesal.
Aku penuhkan solat, and everytime solat aku doa for everyone, and menangis.
And tadi, believe it or not, after solat maghrib, I was like lemah gila and terbaring kat sejadah.
Bayangkan betapa teruk aku rasa?
Tak pernah aku rasa selemah and blank and tak tahu apa nak buat mcm ni.
Najie cakap aku dah mereng. Betul cakap dia.
Happy For Me
I made a huge decision on December 5th about something, and she replied my text messages,
"Semoga berbahagia Erin"
Aku nangis terukkk gila. Ayat tu sangat mendalam. I hope so, anis. I hope so.
"Semoga berbahagia Erin"
Aku nangis terukkk gila. Ayat tu sangat mendalam. I hope so, anis. I hope so.
No MySpace
On December 5th, I gave my MySpace password to Anis. I want her to change it because I don't wanna online MySpace anymore. So I don't know my password. Anis did the same thing. Thanks Anis, aku sayang kau :(
When things went back to normal, then I'll online my MySpace :S
I have to do this.
When things went back to normal, then I'll online my MySpace :S
I have to do this.
No Internet
Semalam after balik from Iman Hudda.
# I asked my mom to change the password kat PC bilik comp.
# I asked my bro to change my user password dekat laptop dy and also semua password username; including his and my sis.
# PSP, I asked him to change the password for internet connection.
# iPod. The password cannot be change because dia lupa password. So bila wi-fi on, I want him to keep the iPod in his room and turn it off. I don't wanna see it.
# My laptop pulak, jangan repair. I don't want to :S
And my dad say my 6600 Fold ada wireless, but dia rosak, anyway. Relax jelah.
Semua sebab aku tak sanggup nak tengok benda benda yang menyedihkan :(
I have to do this. Not because I'm scared, but because I don't want to make things for me even worse. Pity me.
# I asked my mom to change the password kat PC bilik comp.
# I asked my bro to change my user password dekat laptop dy and also semua password username; including his and my sis.
# PSP, I asked him to change the password for internet connection.
# iPod. The password cannot be change because dia lupa password. So bila wi-fi on, I want him to keep the iPod in his room and turn it off. I don't wanna see it.
# My laptop pulak, jangan repair. I don't want to :S
And my dad say my 6600 Fold ada wireless, but dia rosak, anyway. Relax jelah.
Semua sebab aku tak sanggup nak tengok benda benda yang menyedihkan :(
I have to do this. Not because I'm scared, but because I don't want to make things for me even worse. Pity me.
Say jan-di
"Jun-pyo is the only guy I ever loved. But his love for me is gone."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -.-'
Ayat paling mendalam pernah aku dengar.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -.-'
Ayat paling mendalam pernah aku dengar.
